So we went back to the plane to try and trace Hazel.......both Dillon and I were a bit down....it was getting dark and no whiff of Sir Victor when all of a sudden we here from Hazel......
Hazel Grey Valentine : Ise here! Ise hid under blankie and he missed me! Sowee, customer came and my typist lefts me! hmph!
Cosmo Cowderoy : s'long as ya be ok Haze.......we is keepin outta da storm so I finks if we bunks down in da plane 2nite we start da search fresh fur Victor Flagel (SIR) 2morra.....what u fink ?.....I weckons Dillons bin on da vodka cuz he be way outta it......BOL
Hazel Grey Valentine : shits! didn't know he was dwinkin now, tought dat was a Toby Lawrence pwoblem...hehe
Cosmo Cowderoy : well Iz onlee gessin but he did go off wiv a bottle a voddie
Hazel Grey Valentine : shits...when we gets back Cos, we needs to gets him to AA!
Cosmo Cowderoy : i finks we will ave a group bookin Haze !!! should get a diskount or sumfink ??? Bol....juz checked on Dill & he is out & da count snorin & shoutin in a weird rushdie languaij....saying ''Caviar & Vodka" put it on me belly ??? !!! well odd.com
Hazel Grey Valentine : shit...*shakes head*
Cosmo Cowderoy : we iz stwong Aze, we can elp em & slap em now an den xoxo
Cosmo Cowderoy : *TURNS ON DA MINI KLAXON FOUND IN BAG A TWICKS ON JET !!! EBURRYBODY WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPP* we haz gotza find Victor taday.....Susan Kellyaz flown over on Clare da dwagon but I kant pick her signal up.....Susan....adjuzts da gwagons ears cuz she duz ave extra micro-chippie fings in dere ok ??? obur an out
Cosmo Cowderoy : Bunny Foo Foo has gooted da GEJ (Google Earth Jet) to r aircwaft and is gonna elp wiv da wescue missun aint ya Bunny Boo ?
Bunny Foo Foo : I'm here!
Cosmo Cowderoy : coolio Bunny, now da 1st fing we az ta do is find MrDillon Healy, he ad a lotta vodka an i kan ear im snorin but kant see im
Bunny Foo Foo : Okay...I'll hop around and look.
Cosmo Cowderoy : sniff anyfink Bunny ? he shood reek a booze and smelly dawg ?
Bunny Foo Foo : I'm smelling it but it's all over. I haven't found him yet. I'm guessing he is under a seat somewhere.
Cosmo Cowderoy : i betz he is still dwunk....Hazel Grey Valentine is is about somewhere, she keeps pokin me but is wearin an invisible cloak me finks....Hazel will ya stop it !!!!!!
Hazel Grey Valentine : he going to kill you two for callings him a dwunk! hehe
Cosmo Cowderoy : but where da eck iz ee den ??? I kan ear im snorwin......can smell im and da vodka fumes but can't flippin find im...Bunny Foo Foo haz bin elpin but nowhere 2 b seen......Oh My Dayz
Hazel Grey Valentine : wese waiting on a customers to comes and den gets to work gwooming for 3hrs, soooos we can'ts pway. But Ise will check back in to see whats kinds of slow torture D comes up width for you two! hehe
Cosmo Cowderoy : youz a slacka Haze.....just sayin.....baa haa haa...I iz goin on da voddie meself.....stomps off to da bottle
Cosmo Cowderoy : I juz dont beleebe da state of fings wound ere....Victor Flagel has eber bin dognapped or is M.I.A or in MIA sunnin imself.......and it be ickle old me twyin ta keep warm on dis piggin Jet all on me ownsome.....I az sung sum songs but some ...''COMPANY'' from Hazel Grey Valentine, Mr MrDillon Healy, Ellen Krutolow, Bunny Foo Foo and Susan Kelly wood b werry much ''APPWECIATUD'' !!! *walks off mutterin....juz not wight.....tiz outwagus...Vic sure be sooo mad when he see's da shambuls dis missun az bin*
Ellen Krutolow : Holy cwaps....trips on her high heels.....I's got to get on dis flight. Gwabs a hold ob da wing. Bangs on window. LET ME IN!
Cosmo Cowderoy: Elle u iz in but we iz still stuck in Rushdie Land.....Dill az gawn walk-a-bouts or drink-a-bars, Bunny has hopped it, Hazel.....well goodness knows where she iz and poor old Susan is stuck sumplace wiv a flying dragun called Clara an is twying ta get ta us......I juz don't know what ta do....what u fink ? *hands Elle a vodka to warm her up*
Leigh Cowderoy : I would like a ''Cosmopolitan'' please in honour of my brave boy Cosmo Cowderoy, he is in Russia but I know he is safe (ish).
Cosmo Cowderoy : Oh My Days !!!! Red Alert....Victor Flagel is alive *RED ALERT* and *SEND S.O.S TO ALL members* I wepeet Victor is alive !!!!
Victor Flagel : *checks to see if PDA is around here somewhere* *looks up what flags he is seeing right now* *Radios to team*
Victor Flagel : *static* Team are you around???? *really glad they did not find the radio device that he had hidden in his ear*
Victor Flagel : *static* Team can you hear me.....I think I am in Russia somewhere I can see a Russian Flag...I also see another one *checks PDA to find out what flag the other is*
Cosmo Cowderoy : I be here, I be here obur an out Ellen Krutolow be here sumwhere, Dillon is now M.I.A maybe he bin dognapped too ??? and Hazel...well goodness knows where Hazel Grey Valentine be.....how u feelin now Victor Flagel SIR ???
Victor Flagel : *views pictures in PDA* *radios to Team again* *static* Team it looks like I am in St Petersburg.....are you close?????
Victor Flagel : *hears footsteps* Standby Team Someone is coming...sounds like the Messengers
Cosmo Cowderoy : OMD I finks we be bout 20km frum ya but da Jet be stuck in da snow....Susan Kelly be stuck in Siberia wiv Clara da flying Dwagon
Victor Flagel : *listens to the conversation* *radios to Team very quietly* sounds like they are trying to find out some information of some kind...something about a castle and a waterfall and some kind of mineral deposit they are looking for.....hummm I will try to record this....*hits record on PDA* then I can upload it to the command center to be analyzed....They are coming closer I have to be quiet but as soon as they leave I will contact you guys again...Stand By Team!!
Victor Flagel : I am still a little groggy Cosmo Cowderoy and a little confused....I don't know how they got me or who they are BUT they WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!
Victor Flagel : they are coming gotta go....Relay this information to the Team I will transmit again as soon as I can....*switches on locator* Here this should show my location in the Jets control center as soon as they are done talking I will upload this information too....
Victor Flagel : *switches off radio contact* *remains quiet and pretends he is still under the effects of the chemicals*
Cosmo Cowderoy : Oh dear.......*taps paws and waits*
Cosmo Cowderoy : any news Victor Flagel i finks i az juz about traced yer locatun but az no idea where da ovas be........*big sigh* oh what to do......ponders whilst sniffin da air fur signs of any anipals
Hazel Grey Valentine : wells, guess we is going to habs to move dis piece of junk jet closer to Victor Flagel location, Cos! GETS DIGGING! Put ur back into it!
Cosmo Cowderoy : OKAY.................Letz WOCK an WOLL !!!!!!
Hazel Grey Valentine : shits! Dig, Cos!
Hazel Grey Valentine : maybe we should just takes da snowmobiles...
Cosmo Cowderoy : I diggin, I diggin.....shift sum yerself instead a lookin at ya painted nails !!!
MrDillon Healy : *starts to stir, lifts his head and shakes it to twy and fink stwaight* WHAT APPENED ??? Seems dey finks Ise bin on da dwink but I is teetotals ... OMD I WAS DWUGGED !!! Dat's why I hasn't bin here (and Nana Pam bin out all day shoppins and having HIGH tea in a posh hotel bahaha)
Hazel Grey Valentine : Ise been diggin dis whole time Cos while you was in da garden lolly gaggin...
Cosmo Cowderoy : Oh and Mr D is coming any minute.....*shouts* where iz ya MrDillon Healy.......come help and sioopavise an kick Hazel's butt
MrDillon Healy : I can soopervise but only for a little while cos I has to takes 3 hours off to pull myself togevver .... I bin dwugged !!!!
Hazel Grey Valentine : MAYBE we should use dis hair dwyer and melt da snow away! hehe
MrDillon Healy : Silly ol Hazel, you isn't finking stwaight - get da flame frower out of da bag of twicks ....
Hazel Grey Valentine : ok, buts youse going to habs to man dat ting! *hands ober da flame thrower*
MrDillon Healy : Just watch out for da flood once all dat snow has melted
MrDillon Healy : *Turns flame frower on and directs it AWAY from da fuel tank* WOOOOSSSSSH
MrDillon Healy : Blinkin eck, look at all dat water ..... watch out, deres a tidel wave coming ...
Hazel Grey Valentine : WOWZERS! LOOKS AT DAT COS!
MrDillon Healy : START SWIMMINGS GUYS .....
Hazel Grey Valentine : *doggie paddles HARD*
Hazel Grey Valentine : not tinking dis was a goods idea D! Dis is wite up dere width cwashing into da Eifle tower!
MrDillon Healy : *Frows Hazel and Cos a life raft* Jump in guys
Hazel Grey Valentine : *hops in and pulls Cos up*
MrDillon Healy : If we is vewy clever, we cans wide dis wave wight over to where Victor is
Hazel Grey Valentine : ok, go for it!
MrDillon Healy : *holds his head* Don't know wat dey slipped me but I feels dweadful
MrDillon Healy : ANG ON GUYS ...... Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Hazel Grey Valentine : *holds onto hair-do*
MrDillon Healy : OMD DERE'S AND ICEBERG ... QUICK, START PADDLINGS
Cosmo Cowderoy : paddlez like a champion paddla......kwiketty kwik
Hazel Grey Valentine : where flame thrower D!!
MrDillon Healy : Got washed away Hazel, we is gonna has to secure anuvver one
Hazel Grey Valentine : frow dat dam fwame D!
MrDillon Healy : .... OMD we is going to cwash, get da outboard motor from da little bag of twicks Hazel PDQ
Hazel Grey Valentine : gots hair dryer! Anyone gots a lighter?
MrDillon Healy : *Digs in his pocket* .. here you go Hazel
Hazel Grey Valentine : ASSUME DA POSITION GUYS! Ise gonna start da motor, someone light the lighter and blow the flame with the hair dwyer!
MrDillon Healy : Puff puff puff
Hazel Grey Valentine : *it doesn't melt the iceberg all the way, but gouges it out enough that the raft squeaks by* phew!
MrDillon Healy : Wow, you is one smart cookie Hazel
Cosmo Cowderoy : OMD.COM
Hazel Grey Valentine : shits Cos! Why don't you sits dere and stear da waft out of sure desicration!
MrDillon Healy : *mobile phone pings wiv a message* Oops sowwy guys, Nana Pam needs me home we has a visitor, I be back later .... *summons a dwagon for a lift home*
Hazel Grey Valentine : Ise gotta wun too! Customer here to pick up and we gots to cwean out da fwidge........
Cosmo Cowderoy : OH no......u buggers iz leabin me to it again !!!! U.N.R.E.A.L *pondas ow many medalz I iz gonna get when I saves Victor Flagel all by meself cuz by me weckonin we be 450 yards frum Victor..........he az bin awfully quiet....I opes dey asn'...t bin dwuggin im again *sendz a telepathic message to Victor............wakey wakey......you there Vic ???*, wishes me mum Leigh Cowderoy was ere so I koodz smuggle a snuggle wiv her.......*telapafickly sendz a luvin C.C.C to iz mummy
TO BE CONTINUED..........................Will I singled pawdedly save Sir Victor ? Will we eva findy out what appened ta Susan and Ellen....maybe dey bin dwugged too ? or dere be a pub I dontz know bouts an da main kustamer dere is Toby ''Tubster'' Lawrence (My unkle who is meant ta teach me da ways a da world......paaaaaahhhh.com).............west assured.......da finale will be amazing, totally an utterly ''Cosmolitious'' !!!
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