Bootiful summers day but OMD tis hot hot hot

dis be r wivva walky taday.....cor.....it twas so flippin hot mum ad ta cawwy me back....twas pwetty dough, we as moved house and we be living in a bootiful place near a wivva and lots a country walks, we be werry appy in our new forevva home....werry calm and sewene and not stwessful like it was b4 so we both sooooo happy.........I as bin busy elpin mum pack up so datz why i not bin on da poota.....laters xxx

Mission Potty

So we are staying at a furriends flat wite and da buildin don't be likin us dawgs.......how werry rude......dere be screamin brats and eburryfing but ''No Dawgs Allowed'' and we is on da furd floor so we ad ta fink of a way to get me outside an go potty........I canz only old meself fur so long........so mummy glances at da blinkin Gucci holdall again....I waise my eyes goin.....deja-flippin-vu an make it werry twicky fur her....I keeps me ead out and duz me meerkat impwessun for kwite a while but den wealise dere be a nice wiver walk so i best b a bit gooder so lay down in da bag....she ad put a towell down......whats at bout ? I aint a puppy no more.....i aint gonna pee meself and god forbid if I did in da Gucci Gucci Goo Goo.........so here it is.......................short but sweet and yup dat be juz as I is.....Baa haa haa !!! laters furriends I see ya soon

Mission accomplished and we is in da park/common/gween place

Oh my days so we traversed pavement's and silly aweas of road dat dis have little bits a gravel dat can getz in a ickle dawgs paws and blinkin well hurt.....it was like an assult korse....dere was 2 hoomanz on bikes datz I ad ta bark at to pawtect ma and a man wearin a high visibilty jacket on dat i weally twied ta get but ma held me back an did da ''Cesar Milan'' claw so I let er get away wiv juz in case she decided to turn back cuz trufe be told i was sooooo hexcited ta get dere dat by the time we was in da entrance I was plum tuckered out AND dere was 2 lubberly dawgs I wood ave played wiv but koodn't so I ''frollicked'' in da gwass and checked me pee mail on all da tree's.....anyway's here it be xxx mwah.com

and were walking.......I was on a mission and I chose to accept it

Hey eburryone.....I is so sowwy I as bin sooooo long but mummy bin  pawly so I as ad to look afta her....den when she got betta she managed to put er back out and NO it's nuffink to do wiv her cawwying me....I is lite as a fevver I is........we went to da Park today....well weally it's callled ''Hampton Common'' but's iz not common at all it be kwite posh weally........I was a furbaby on a mission and I chose to accept it....I ad ta accomplish getting dere so I could ''frolic'' in the meadow and check up on my pee-mail...cuz of all da wain we had been poundin da pavements which is ok but gets a bit borwin after a while so here be da video part one on r way 2 da Park/Common whateva........werry excitin talky by mum.......NOT.....BOL

Chillin wiv mummy

 

Adventure Land Part 1

Adventure Land is a magical place far, far away where very special anipals and sum selected hoomans come to meet an purform khallungez, twicks, and ...... well......adventures, da following took place on Wed 25th May and pease note...apart frum Tobe's....no anipal was injured in what did take place.....it started wiv Toby Lawrence who as ya know is me Unkle shoutin out...........

''OH MY DAYS, DERE IZ SUMKINK COMIN FREW DA WOODS TO DA KASTLE - SOUND DA ALARM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''

Cosmo Cowderoy : I bet it's a fly, dat Tobe be such a wooster

Hazel Grey Valentine : bahaha!

Toby Lawrence : Yeah, well you iz gonna be laffinf da ovver side of YOUR fac soon Coss......eye fink it is CWOCKADIALS.........................................

Hazel Grey Valentine : oh stop it! What's we got...ere Tobe....have dese glasses!

Toby Lawrence : Oh fanks for da dem Haze, let me see, ahhhhhhhhhhh, sowwy tis a kouple of logs.................

MrDillon Healy : CWOCKADIALS, *grabs the specks*, let me see

Toby Lawrence : PANIC OVER

Toby Lawrence : Aw shit........................(hangs head and gimps off)

Hazel Grey Valentine : ‎*mumbles* dam...all dat for nofing...dis Toby going to be touble....

Hazel Grey Valentine : better luck next time Toby!

Toby Lawrence : Well, did get us out in da fwesh air for 5 minutes, wot's da prob??????????????????

MrDillon Healy : Let's just gets dis stwaight - we has happointed a nearly blinds, sleepy little mouse as Surveilance Officer !!!!!!!!!!!

Toby Lawrence : Fanks, Hazel, kan eye keep da glasses??????

Toby Lawrence : Lissen up Dill, eye is an ex fwench resistance fiter, so you be wathin out cuz eye is watchin you (sticks two fingers in his eyes and points to MrD). Forgets that fingers actually went INTO eyes, and is now blind............

MrDillon Healy : Bahaha ... I west my case !!!

Toby Lawrence : zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Toby Lawrence : Wassup??????????????????? (Sticks head up quickly and bangs it on log - is now unconscious)..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hazel Grey Valentine : bahahah....ISe seeing what Cos meant now about loose marbles...we take up a collection later! bahahah!

Toby Lawrence : zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Toby Lawrence : eye flicker then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Toby Lawrence : Snoring starting and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Toby Lawrence : Dreaming, Toby finks (is dis da end of my kaweer??????)

Toby Lawrence  : Still dweaming, den finks, 'oo wud weally want a free legged gimp, oo is not werry bwave, and as managed to blind and nock imself senseless on da first mission?)????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Toby Lawrence : STILL DWEAMING two ickle tears come down his ickle face...................................

Hazel Grey Valentine : MrD...you needs to snap Toby out of it!

Toby Lawrence : zzzzzzzzzzzz(twitch) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (tears again) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(leg twitches)

Toby Lawrence : ‎(Stil dweamin Toby kan eer da angel say @GET A BLEEDIN GWIP YOU NUMBNUT)

Hazel Grey Valentine : wear dem glasses Toby and you be fine. pwomise! Can't be worse dan Pwecious twying to tame da dwagons! hehe

MrDillon Healy ‎: *Gives Tobster a good shakins* For goodness sakes Toby - dis is your big chance, you cans make your mark on dis world if you wants to. Now shape up, stand up - shoulders back (wipe your eyes man !) - dere you go, a fine figure of a dog

Toby Lawrence : Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssupppppppp? Oh eye is woken by a voice. Is dat you MrD????? Kan eye still be in da gang den?

Hazel Grey Valentine : ya, cute too!

MrDillon Healy : OK, but let's has no more funny business ... and just wemember, after Victor I is da boss cos I'se a Sarjunt !!!

Toby Lawrence : If dat is da kase den explain wot exactement is a SAR JENT??????????????????????????????

MrDillon Healy : Just fink of it like dis Tobster - when I says jumps, you asks how high

Hazel Grey Valentine : ABOVE you and me, Toby....tinks keeping it simple is best Sir...

Toby Lawrence : Yessir Mr SAR JENT, but ow exactement iz eye gonna jump wiv FREE LEGS ??????????????????????????????????????????????

MrDillon Healy : Bahaha ... you mite be wite !

MrDillon Healy : Tobster - I cans jump with just 2 legs so gives it a twy

Toby Lawrence : Awight ere eye do go (trys to jump and falls over) ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Toby Lawrence : Eye does spose you fought dat was funneeeeeeeeeeeee

Toby Lawrence : Toby waddles off for a moment to get a brandy........................................ 

Toby Lawrence  : Toby crawls back sideways, on one leg totally pissed.............................

Toby Lawrence : Sooooooooooooo wasssssuuuppppp????????????????????

MrDillon Healy : Goddamn it, you are dwunk on duty Toby - go to your quarters and sobers up. I is goings off duty now and I is handings over da reins to Hazel, you is so not up to it yet !!!

Cosmo Cowderoy : Marbel collection in place *passes bucket round* Please donate generously.....we have ''SOME'' members that need a fair few hundred....I thank u....now I am getting back to my blinging so won't be M.I.A as B.I.A ok.....over and out and shake it all about

Toby Lawrence : Wassamatterwivya???????????????????????????

Toby Lawrence : Staggers into tree and is over and out yet again zzzzzzzzzzzzzhiccupzzzzzzzzzhiccupzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Toby Lawrence : Pretty lites on in Toby's head, we think they might be stars ......................................................

Cosmo Cowderoy : Oh dear......much as I love Tobe's maybe we need to create a new position for him...Certified Nutter ?...could be used to intimidate the enemy ?...all those in favour raise paw....we can concur privately & come up with a really ''yummy'' title...try ''somehow'' get food involved in the title and he will go for (his maman and Tobe's himself are fast asleep as its way past midnight in Frenchy Land)

Toby Lawrence : Morning, bluudy ell eye ave got a weely bad head.......wot appened? Woz I zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz